25 not-so-random things about me, loosely in chronological order...


This was written as a Facebook exercise.

1. One of my first memories is of being five years old and being accused by our next-door neighbors of breaking into their house to watch TV and eat peanut butter sandwiches. My parents never believed I was innocent.
2. When I was six, my family moved from Bakersfield to Odense, Denmark. We sailed first class, with another Army family, on the SS Gripsholm luxury liner. I still remember exploring the ship for hours.
3. My prized possession at that age was my Roy Rogers double holster set. I dreamed of leading a militia of American kids down the streets of Odense, wiping out the Danish boys who would bully me because I was an outsider.
4. We moved back to the U.S. when I was 12. I then dreamed of escaping back to Denmark to escape from being bullied because I knew no “American” sports and was still an outsider.
5. To this day I have absolutely no use for baseball, football (American) or basketball, and hate the whole culture built around them. I tend to keep quiet about this.
6. I was caught shoplifting when I was 13. My haul: a Sonny and Cher single and a bag of Red Vines. Never again have I been that scared. Fortunately they took pity on me.
7. My first rock show was The Beatles, Candlestick Park, September 30, 1965. My mom drove. The beginning of a lifelong addiction to live music.
8. I knew two guitarists in high school who went on to semi-notoriety: Pat Thrall (Meat Loaf) and Brad Gillis (Night Ranger). Brad Gillis still owes me $100.
9. I was part of my school underground newspaper, and was almost expelled when we published my interview with the information officer from the Black Panthers headquarters in Oakland. We were kids dealing in issues beyond our grasp, playing with fire...but no regrets.
10. In the 1970s I was a fan of prog and of “difficult” music. My instrument was an ARP 2600 synthesizer, with multiple effects and miles of cable. I miss it.
11. My first wife was my high school girlfriend, Terry. We were together 9 years and miserable for 8 of them. She passed away in 2001, but I didn’t learn of it for 6 years.
12. When I left my first wife, I left behind almost everything except my stereo and half of our records. One of several reasons that there are almost no photos of me from 1974 to 1983.
13. My first punk-era band, in 1978, was called Beta Newt. Our first gig was at the legendary Mabuhay Gardens. As we were taking the stage Frank Zappa and several band members sat right up front. It took almost two entire songs for us to annoy them enough to leave. Jeff the bassist, a huge Zappa fan, quit on the spot and never spoke to us again. I thought it was great then, and I still do,
14. In 1979 I passed up a chance to move to NYC with another band because I wasn’t ready to leave my wife. Everyone from that band is dead.
15. I met Shannon on June 14, 1984, at a four-day personal growth seminar called The Sage Experience. I saw her across a crowded room and knew she was the one. Yes, it sounds cheesy but it’s the truth.
16. A woman named Buffy once saved my life.
17. It took 14 years for me to feel at home in Minnesota.
18. I will happily go to an art opening. I enjoy looking at art. I buy my fair share of it, perhaps more. Just don’t ask me to read The Artist’s Statement. Please. There’s a reason people become VISUAL artists. Save it for the grant proposal and let the work do the talking.
19. It irks me no end that I can’t speak Spanish. It irks me further that I procrastinate about learning.
20. Mrs. Emma Peel defined my notion of the ideal woman. I married the only woman I’ve ever known who came close to that ideal; I’m grateful that she lacks the ass-kicking skills that would no doubt have landed me in hospital more than once.
21. I cannot understand men my age who go after women in their 20s; all I see are some other guys’ daughters.
22. On that topic, I have the greatest daughter of all time.
23. I would support a ban on advertisement of prescription medications.
24. I’ve had to stare down my opposition to the death penalty more than once, but have always come out on the right side.
25. I still believe the perfect song can save the world, despite evidence to the contrary: neither Stardust nor Waterloo Sunset did the trick. They did, however, shape my life. Maybe that’s enough.